Well, I’m sure all of you had some dreams about who you’d like to see in a Leafs uniform. Me too, but this isn’t about those players. It’s about being mildly realistic in my pursuit of players that wouldn’t make you a material for institutionalization if you mentioned them in the same sentence as a Maple Leafs jersey. Also, those are the players nobody talks about very much, they are not the center of the NHL universe like a certain Russian player who shall remain nameless. I think they deserve at least an honorable mention, so I’m just putting it out there.

Kyle Okposo – Absolutely love this kid. I think about him as a second coming of Jarome Iginla (not at all based on his appearance). He has a really wicked shot, plays a tremendous two-way game and is not shy about dishing out hits. His work ethic is off the charts plus he’s a much better skater than Iginla. He would be a perfect complement to our second line (although he is a first line NHL player already, no doubt about it). Imagine a line with him, Kadri and Versteeg. The addition of this caliber of player would indeed solidify our two lines and would make them both equally dangerous. The kid also plays with a ton of emotion. Not gonna happen. Hey I never said this was a completely realistic article.

Wayne Simmonds – Before we signed Colby Armstrong I thought this was the player Burke was aiming for. A really nice surprise for everyone that watched any of the Kings games last year. Big, physical kid with lots of energy, that can also put the puck in the net. He was also really solid defensively and created loads of space for Kopitar when the two got paired up. Funny thing, he even played some PP minutes and took the most of those chances. He is also a regular on the penalty kill.

Saku Koivu – Just to stick it to the Habs. Give him the C to make them more red than their hockey sweaters. I’m just kidding. Or am I?

Rene Bourque – Hey maybe Burke can trick Sutter into another one of his trademark trades. Rene Bourque is big, he can get really hot for a really long time, and my guess is, if he played on a team with more goalscoring acumen, he could really thrive. Bourque also has speed to burn and isn’t afraid of getting into those dirty areas to score. Boy would Burke love him. He was the player that impressed me the most in a rather disgraceful season for the Flames.

James Neal – A player that’s only coming into his own at the NHL level has already impressed with two very good seasons. 155 games played, 51 goals and 41 assists for 92 points. Neal is also big with a goalscorer’s shot. His tendency to win corner battles would be a big asset to the Leafs.

Tyler Seguin – You can’t have your cake and eat it too. His name is wierd anyway. Says Xterratu.

David Booth – The best player on the Florida Panthers. Wait, is that even a compliment? Well, based on what the Panthers management has done lately, it will soon become one. Booth is a tenacious forechecker that can score at will. Having barely watched Panthers games thought the years I was blown away when I first saw him playing. To me, he is in the same category as Zach Parise. This will come to light soon enough, as soon as next season.

Mike Modano – Whooooooooaa. Didn’t expect that one, did you? Why not? He’d be affordable (cheap), he would bring veteran leadership to the team that’s lacking in that department, he would teach the young players how to play the center position in the NHL and he’s ready to accept a checking line role. On top of that, the legend of US hockey can still put up some points.

Gilbert Brule – Is an animal on the forecheck. Besides the obvious fact he’s arbitration friendly, he has great setup skills and really good hands. He dishes out punishing checks from time to time and is really aggressive. When talking about his NHL production, he has only gotten his feat wet as far as his potential is concerned and isn’t likely to get many opportunities to shine in the new look Oilers with Horcoff tied down and Gagner finally ready to make an impact with superior wingers.

Pierre-Marc Bouchard – Yup. I know. The concussion. He might never be 100% and I’d be only in favor of him in a Leafs jersey if and only if he’s healthy. But when he is boy, he’s some kind of player. He can play either wing or center, can dangle and has top tier vision. His trade value is probably decreased because of the whole concussion thing. What? I’m just saying.

Scott Hartnell – I hate his guts. And his hair. He looks like Carrot Top. But that’s one of the reasons I’d like him on our Leafs team, cause like you know, a player you hate the most on the opposite team, is a guy you’d love to have on your team. His checks are nasty, he plays dirty and he can score a ton of garbage goals cause he always seems to be in the right place at the right time.  Also, he bites people’s fingers.

Mislav “Xterratu” Jantoljak